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The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 1994-06
October, 1994
ISSN 1076-500X
Key words:science humor,improbable research,Ig Nobel
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The mini-journal of inflated research and personalities
published by The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
at The MIT Museum
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1994-06-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS
1994-06-01 Table of Contents
1994-06-02 AIRhead News Flashes and Flushes
1994-06-03 Announcing: The 1994 The Ig Nobel Prizewinners
1994-06-04 AIRhead Project 2000: preliminary results
1994-06-05 May We Recommend...
1994-06-06 Upcoming Events
1994-06-07 Calls for Papers
1994-06-08 Purpose of mini-AIR (*)
1994-06-09 How to Subscribe to AIR(*)
1994-06-10 How to Receive to mini-AIR, etc.(*)
1994-06-11 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses (*)
1994-06-12 Please DO make copies! (*)
Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.
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1994-06-02 AIRhead News Flashes and Flushes
1. The 1994 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony was held on October 6. Once
again, no deaths resulted. Details, including a list of the
winners, are provided in section 1994-06-03 below.
2. Chances are high that mini-AIR readers will soon be able to
obtain a series of improbably memorable digital images of the must
lurid and scientific sort. We are also planning, after a fashion,
to have a presence on the World-Wide-Web. Details on both matters
will be announced in a future issue of mini-AIR. Acronyms may be
involved; however, a decision pro or con has not yet been made.
3. Uncontrolled AIRhead proliferation.
Readers continue to respond to our manipulative offer to become an
AIRhead for a Day. These AIRheads are taking copies of our
attractively appalling flyer, and handing them out or posting them
at meetings and in provocative places. If you would like to be an
AIRhead, please email us at <air@mit.edu>. Please specify whether
you want the postscript version or the paper version. For
ecological reasons, we do not offer plastic. If you choose paper,
please include your street mailing address.
4. We apologize for the substandard number of typos in the last
issue.
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1994-06-03 Announcing: The 1994 The Ig Nobel Prizewinners
On October 6, the winners of this year's Ig Nobel Prizes were
honored, in a fashion, by three Nobel Laureates, 1200 hecklers,
the Norwegian Consul, and a rat control scientist at a tumultuous
ceremony at MIT. The Prizes honor individuals whose achievements
"cannot or should not be reproduced." Five additional Nobel
Laureates (Sidney Altman, David Baltimore, Nicolas Bloembergen,
Jerome Friedman, and Philip Sharp) participated in the Ceremony
with congratulatory tapes and slides.
This was the fourth annual ceremony. Past winners include Los
Angeles Police Chief Daryl Gates, who won the 1992 Ig Nobel Peace
Prize for "his uniquely compelling methods of bringing people
together."
The festivities included speeches by three of the new winners --
Dr. Brian Sweeney (Biology), Dr. Robert Lopez (Entomology) and,
via tape recording, Dr. Richard Dart (Medicine). Sweeney and Lopez
had their Prizes -- cheap gold-painted wax half-brains --
personally handed to them by the Nobel Laureates.
The Nobel Laureates -- Richard Roberts ( Physiology or Medicine,
1993), Dudley Herschbach (Chemistry, 1986), and William Lipscomb
(Chemistry, 1976) also each presented a 30-second "Heisenberg
Certainty Lecture." Heisenberg Lectures were also presented by:
Harvard Chemist Cynthia Friend; the father of artificial
intelligence, MIT's Marvin Minsky; astonomer Margaret Geller of
Harvard; and neurophysiology pioneer Jerome Lettvin of MIT. Those
Heisenberg Certainty lecturers who exceeded the time limit were
thrown from the stage by a referee.
The Nobel Laureates also joined with a five-woman dance group to
perform a brief ballet number, "The Interpretive Dance of the
Electrons," with music from Tchaikovsky's "Nutcracker Suite."
Following is a list of the new Ig Nobellians:
==============================
The 1994 Ig Nobel Prizewinners
==============================
BIOLOGY W. Brian Sweeney, Brian Krafte-Jacobs, Jeffrey W. Britton,
and Wayne Hansen, for their breakthrough study, "The Constipated
Serviceman: Prevalence Among Deployed US Troops," and especially
for their numerical analysis of bowel movement frequency. [The
study was published in "Military Medicine," vol. 158, August,
1993, pages 346-348.]
PEACE John Hagelin of Maharishi University and The Institute of
Science, Technology and Public Policy, promulgator of peaceful
thoughts, for his experimental conclusion that 4,000 trained
meditators caused an 18 percent decrease in violent crime in
Washington, D.C. [Details were published in "Interim Report:
Results fo the National Demonstration Project To Reduce Violent
Crime and Improve Governmental Effectiveness In Washington, D.C.,
June 7 to July 30, 1993," Institute of Science, Technology and
Public Policy, Fairfield, Iowa.]
MEDICINE This prize is awarded in two parts. First, to Patient X,
formerly of the US Marine Corps, valiant victim of a venomous bite
from his pet rattlesnake, for his determined use of electroshock
therapy -- at his own insistence, automobile sparkplug wires were
attached to his lip, and the car engine revved to 3000 rpm for
five minutes. Second, to Dr. Richard C. Dart of the Rocky Mountain
Poison Center and Dr. Richard A. Gustafson of The University of
Arizona Health Sciences Center, for their well-grounded medical
report: "Failure of Electric Shock Treatment for Rattlesnake
Envenomation." [The report was published in "Annals of Emergency
Medicine," vol. 20, no. 6, June 1991, pp. 659-661.]
ENTOMOLOGY Robert A. Lopez of Westport, NY, valiant veterinarian
and friend of all creatures great and small, for his series of
experiments in obtaining ear mites from cats, inserting them into
his own ear, and carefully observing and analyzing the results.
[Dr. Lopez's report was published in "The Journal of the American
Veterinary Society," vol. 203, no. 5, Sept. 1, 1993, pp. 606-607.]
PSYCHOLOGY Lee Kuan Yew, former Prime Minister of Singapore,
practitioner of the psychology of negative reinforcement, for his
thirty-year study of the effects of punishing three million
citizens of Singapore whenever they spat, chewed gum, or fed
pigeons.
PHYSICS The Japanese Meterological Agency, for its seven-year
study of whether earthquakes are caused by catfish wiggling their
tails.
LITERATURE L. Ron Hubbard, ardent author of science fiction and
founding father of Scientology, for his crackling Good Book,
"Dianetics," which is highly profitable to mankind or to a portion
thereof.
CHEMISTRY Texas State Senator Bob Glasgow, wise writer of logical
legislation, for sponsoring the 1989 drug control law which make
it illegal to purchase beakers, flasks, test tubes, or other
laboratory glassware without a permit.
ECONOMICS Jan Pablo Davila of Chile, tireless trader of financial
futures and former employee of the state-owned Codelco Company,
for instructing his computer to "buy" when he meant "sell," and
subsequently attempting to recoup his losses by making
increasingly unprofitable trades that ultimately lost .5 percent
of Chile's gross national product. Davila's relentless achievement
inspired his countrymen to coin a new verb: "to davilar," meaning,
"to botch things up royally."
MATHEMATICIANS The Southern Baptist Church of Alabama,
mathematical measurers of morality, for their county-by-county
estimate of how many Alabama citizens will go to Hell if they
don't repent.
Full details of the 199 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, including
photographs and highlights of the acceptance speeches and 30-
second Heisenberg Certainty Lectures, will be presented in
December in the first print issue of The Annals of Inprobable
Research.
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1994-06-04 AIRhead Project 2000: preliminary results
As announced in mini-AIR 1994-02-03 (June, 1993), we are compiling
a list of studies, projects, and products that involve the number
two thousand. Randomly selected items from the list include:
Item # 85 (submitted by investigator Peter Martin)
Sudbury 2000, a plan to diversify the local economy of this
Northern Ontario town.
Items # 231a and #232b (submitted by investigator David Coderre)
PS2000 - Canadian federal public service renewal initiative
Defence2000 - Canadian Dept. of Defence renewal initiative
Item #662 (submitted by investigator Jeremy Marshall)
Rover 2000 automobile
Item #662 (submitted by investigator Terry Mawby)
Triumph 2000 automobile
Item #662 (submitted by investigator Jim Larson)
M&M's covered chocolate candy. Larson points out that
while the use of Roman numerals may be quaint,
no one can deny the focus this product maintains on the
future. Using only mid 20th century technology, this
chocolate treat is able to dissolve in one's mouth while
remaining completely inert in the hands - surely one of
the earliest applications of "smart materials."
Item #662 (submitted by investigator David J Walton)
SimCity 2000, a computer simulation from Maxis
[NOTE: Due to space limitations, we do not indicate here which
listed items are obsolete. That information is contained in
AIRhead Project 2000 Official Publication #2000FNP/21 (obs.)]
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1994-06-05 May We Recommend...
Research reports that merit a trip to the library:
"The deterioration and conservation of chocolate from museum
collections," by Helen Cox, "Studies in Conservation," vol 38,
1993, pp. 217-223. (Thanks to Arlen Michaels for bringing this to
our attention.)
"Measurement of the vibrational response of porcine lungs to low-
frequency underwater sound", by Thomas N. Lewis, James S. Martin,
and Peter H. Rogers, "Journal of the Acoustical Socciety of
America, vol. 95, no. 5, Pt 2, p 2830. (Thanks to Fred Cummins
for bringing this to our attention.)
"Recognizing and coping with the vertical patron," by Nathan M.
Smith and G. Hugh Allred, "Special Libraries," Vol. 67, no. 11,
Nov. 1976, pp. 528-533. (Thanks to Charles Oppenheim for bringing
this to our aattention.)
"Laser-induced autofluorescence for medical diagnosis", by K.
Koenig and H. Schneckenburger, "Journal of Fluorescence," 1994,
vol 4, no 1, pp 17-40, describes the use of fluorescence-based
detection of a variety of diseases and infections from the
autofluorescence of porphyrins produced by pathological
microorganisms. The article is illustrated with a fluorescence
image of sebaceous follicles on the author's nose. (Thanks to T.
Hawkins for bringing this to our attention.)
(We welcome your suggestions for this column. Please include full
citations. If possible, please send us a photocopy of the paper.)
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1994-06-06 Upcoming Events
MENSA CONVENTION, Chicago, IL Sat., Oct. 29, 7 pm.
For info: Dianne Miller, (708) 747-5651
SCIENCE FRIDAY IG BROADCAST Fri. afternoon, Nov. 25
"Talk of the Nation/Science Friday" will broadcast a (nearly)
complete recording of this year's Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. This is
the day after Thanksgiving in the US. Check your local NPR
station for broadcast time.
INTERSOCIETY POLYMER SOCIETY Mon., October 10, 1995
Stouffer Harborplace Hotel, Baltimore, MD
The society recommends early reservations. Info: (518) 387-7942
***
If you would like to be a host/instigator for an Improbable
Science Event at your city, university, hospital, research center,
high school, book store, etc., ASAP please contact us.
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1994-06-07 Calls for Papers
CALL FOR PAPERS on the topic "The Use of Bacteria as Foodstuff."
Reports of your research RESULTS are preferred to speculative
essays.
CALL FOR NOMINATIONS for the 1995 Ig Nobel Prizes. Ig Nobel Prizes
are awarded for achievements that cannot or should not be
reproduced. Nominations may be submitted, anonymously or
otherwise, by e-mail or by standard mail.
******************************************************************
1994-06-08 Purpose of mini-AIR (*)
The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR) publishes news
about improbable research and ideas. Specifically:
A) Haphazardly selected superficial (but advanced!) extracts of
research news and satire from The Annals of Improbable Research.
B) News about the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony.
C) News about other science humor activities intentional and
otherwise.
WHAT IS AIR? (An introduction, of sorts)
AIR is a new magazine produced by the entire former editorial
staff (1955-1994) of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results
(JIR)," the world's oldest satirical science journal. The new
magazine's co-founders are Marc Abrahams, who edited JIR from
1990-1994, and Alexander Kohn, who founded JIR in 1955 and was its
editor until 1989. AIR is published by the MIT Museum in
Cambridge, MA. The editorial board consists of more than 40
distinguished scientists from around the world including seven
Nobel Laureates. EAach October, AIR and the MIT Museum produce the
Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, honoring people whose achievements cannot
or should not be reproduced.
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1994-06-09 How to Subscribe to AIR(*)
Catch up on things you need to know:
The Taxonomy of Barney * A Natural History of the Articulated
Lorry * Effectiveness of Chinese Fortune Cookies * A Review of
the Nairobi Telephone Directory * The Aerodynamics of Potato
Chips * The Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony * Scientific Gossip *
Nobel Thoughts (offbeat interviews with Nobel Laureates) *
Elegant Results (reviews of cosmetics ads) * Hot Air
(exhalations from our readers) * X-Rays of the Rich and Famous *
and then some!
The first issue of AIR will appear in December, 1994. Join us as
a subscriber, and as a collaborator!
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1994-06-10 How to Receive to mini-AIR, etc.(*)
mini-AIR is an electronic publication, available over the
Internet, free of charge. It is distributed as a LISTSERV
application. We publish approximately 12 issues per year.
To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to either of these
addresses:
LISTSERV@MITVMA.MIT.EDU or LISTSERV@MITVMA
The body of your message should contain ONLY the words "SUBSCRIBE
MINI-AIR" followed by your name.
Here are two examples:
SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR Irene Curie Joliot
SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR Nicholai Lobachevsky
To stop subscribing,
send the following message to the same address:
SIGNOFF MINI-AIR
To obtain a list of back issues,
send this message:
INDEX MINI-AIR
To retrieve a particular back issue,
send a message specifying which issue you want.
For example, to retrieve issue 94-00001,send this message:
GET MINI-AIR 94-00001
To obtain a somewhat complete list of gopher sites that maintain
mini-AIR, email us a request.
::::: AIR extracts are on USENET
The USENET news group clari.feature.imprb_research presents a
syndicated weekly column of reports extracted from The Annals of
Improbable Research. The material presented there is different
from what appears here in mini-AIR.
[Please note: The news group is available to you if and only if
your Internet site subscribes to the Clarinet newsgroups.]
---------------------------
1994-06-11 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses
Our mailing address:
The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
The MIT Museum
265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA 02139 USA
(617) 253-4462 fax: (617)253-8994
Editorial matters: (617) 253-8329
PLEASE include your Internet address
in all printed correspondence.
Our Internet addresses:
Editorial matters: air@mit.edu
Ig Nobel matters: ig@mit.edu
---------------------------
1994-06-12 Please make copies! (*)
We urge you to distribute copies of mini-AIR or excerpts from it.
The only limitations are:
A) Please indicate that the material appeared in mini-AIR and is
reprinted with permission.
B) You do NOT have permission to copy or excerpt this document for
commercial purposes.
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(c) copyright 1994, The Annals of Improbable Research
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The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR)
Editor: Marc Abrahams (marca@mit.edu)
Chairman of the Editorial Board: Alexander Kohn
Sports Desk & Technical Support: Christopher Small
(chris@das.harvard.edu)
Associate Editors: Mark Dionne, Stanley Eigen, Jane Patrick
Technical Difficulties: Diego Garcia, Francesca Thurston
Authority Figure: Barbara Linden
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IMPORTANT -- The Annals of Improbable Research is IN NO WAY
associated with the name "The Journal of Irreproducible
Results" or with the publisher of "The Journal of
Irreproducible Results"
============================================================
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