-------------------------------------------------------------------------- This file has been provided by "The Annals of Improbable Research" and is the responsibility of that organization. All questions regarding this material should be sent directly to their indicated addresses below, not to Vortex Technology. Thank you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ================================================================ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 1995-12 December, 1995 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 1995-12-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 1995-12-01 Table of Contents 1995-12-02 New Discovery about DNA Cologne 1995-12-03 Announcing the Special Ig Nobel Prize Issue 1995-12-04 Far Flung Findings 1995-12-05 Manic-Depression Epidemic 1995-12-06 Free Posters 1995-12-07 Swimsuits and Re-engineering 1995-12-08 Re-Engineering and Mathematics 1995-12-09 AIRhead Project 2000 1995-12-10 May We Recommend... 1995-12-11 AIRhead Events 1995-12-12 What is AIR? (*) 1995-12-13 How to Subscribe to AIR(*) 1995-12-14 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc.(*) 1995-12-15 Our Address (*) 1995-12-16 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. ------------------------------------------------------------ 1995-12-02 New Discovery about DNA Cologne The Ig Nobel Prizes inspire many people to do their best science. Here is a case in point. This year's chemistry Prize went to Bijan Pakzad (founder of Bijan Fragrances of Beverly Hills) for his creation of DNA Cologne and DNA Perfume. At the Ig Nobel ceremony (which was held on October 6), bottles of DNA Cologne and DNA Perfume were presented to the presiding Nobel Laureates (Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Joseph Murray and Richard Roberts), all of whom are imaginative and prolific scientists. We just received this letter from one of them: Dear Marc: My gifts of DNA fragrances at the Ig are much appreciated: My wife, using her DNA perfume sample while vacationing in Viet-Nam, discovered its serendipitous efficacy as a mosquito repellant. The men's product has a similar, though somewhat less effective, action on my students. We hope that DNA may be adopted as the Official Fragrance for pest control at the Ig Nobel Ceremonies. Shelly Glashow Physics Department Harvard University ------------------------------------------------------------ 1995-12-03 Announcing the Special Ig Nobel Prize Issue AIR 2:1 (Jan/Feb 96) will be our annual Ig Nobel Issue. It features a lavish, full report on the recent Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, including shocking photos (yes, there are photographs of scientist-supermodel Symmetra and of the Nobel laureates drinking Luak Coffee), acceptance speeches, the Heisenberg Certainty Lectures, the "Welcome Welcome" speech, the complete poem "DNA and Green Eggs and Ham," James Watson's appreciation of DNA Cologne, the now-famous "Kid's Tribute to DNA," the lyrics for the new songs "DNA" and "Deoxyribonucleic Acid" (both performed by Symmetra and her low-cut backless gown), the "Goodbye Goodbye" speech, and much more. AIR 2:1 also includes a plethora (perhaps more than one plethora) of reports about other current research from around and within the globe... including two reports related to a curious European substance called "Quark." And, and, and, AIR 2:1 contains a brand new column of "Read-Aloud Science Lessons for Girls and Boys and Grown-Ups." REMINDERS a) If your AIR subscription expired with the Nov/Dec issue, you should have received a renewal notice. Please don't forget that it's time to renew! b) If you are giving AIR as a holiday gift, please get your order in in time! IG VIDEO ALERT The video of the 1995 Ig Nobel ceremony is nearly complete. We do hope to have it ready within a few days. As many of you have suggested (may we use the words "frantically demanded?"), if the video is ready in time for the holidays, then yes, we will send out a notice. ------------------------------------------------------- 1995-12-04 Far Flung Findings Because the Ig Nobel report in AIR 2:1 is so large, space limitations forced us to bump one of the magazine's many regular (and most atypical, if such a thing is possible) columns. And so, this time around, we present that column here instead. ============================= FAR FLUNG FINDINGS ----------------------------- Unverified scientific reports ----------------------------- by Neonate Rofen ============================= Several unverified but intriguing findings about human reproduction are reported in volume 13, number 37 (the November 28, 1995 issue) of the research journal "Weekly World News." Women Emulate Birds "Weekly World News" reports (pages 24-5) on an unusual medical syndrome in which pregnant women build outdoor nests with leaves, sticks and dirt. Called "Setting Syndrome," it was originally discovered in 1965 by a psychiatrist (unnamed) in England. "Weekly World News" interviews Dr. Anthony Hotteb, who is heading up a special research project on the condition. According to Dr. Hotteb, *** The women were ashamed and confused by their own behavior.... After an article on their condition was published in a medical journal, scores of other cases were reported. *** Dr. Hotteb does not specify which medical journal, but he gives "Weekly World News" a full account of a woman who spends up to 14 hours every day gathering soft scraps of material together in a mound. SUPERBIRTHS "Weekly World News" also examines (pages 6-7) the recent phenomenon of superbirths -- cases in which women give birth to twelve or more babies at a shot. There have been at least three superbirths since 1992. Christina Norberg had twelve in Arhus, Denmark; Kristen Sorensen had fifteen in Ringsted, Denmark; and Doris McDuane had seventeen in Rhode Island. *** "The pregnancy was terribly difficult, but the outcome has been great," says jubilant Doris. *** Dr. Horace Blanner is an obstetrician who studies multiple births. He tells "Weekly World News" that most, but not all, of these events involve the use of fertility drugs, and finds that *** Huge instant families like these put a severe strain on the families, but they also bring a great deal of joy. Most of these couples have tried to have children for years and now they want as many more as possible. *** "Weekly World News" reports that the Pedersen Diaper Company of Denmark has decided to encourage the trend by offering $1 million to any woman who delivers 20 infants at once. CANCER AND CABBAGE "Weekly World News" also reports on two unrelated breakthroughs that could have big implications for the health care funding crisis. *** A noted physician has revealed that he completely cured the deadly cancer that was eating away his lungs by reciting three "magic words" given him by an aged beggar he had befriended. *** The doctor is identified only as Dr. T, and is shown in three photographs that appear on page 21. Elsewhere on the same page, there is news of a survey of 4,000 adult men and women. *** [The] survey proves it beyond the shadow of a doubt people who eat cabbage at least three times a week earn more money, have better sex lives and are happier than people who don't. *** "Weekly World News" does not include the names or other information about the identity of the researchers who conducted the poll. ------------------------------------------------ 1995-12-05 Manic-Depression Epidemic As a contribution to public health, we ask you to help us increase awareness of the epidemic of manic depression. The disease is spreading rapidly. It was first brought to our attention recently, by a psychiatrist who is employed by a major American university. One of the university's football stars had recently been suspended for making ten yards and a cloud of dust out of his girlfriend. The football star had then been quickly reinstated to his rightful place on the team. The day after the reinstatement, a university psychiatrist explained on national television that the football player's actions had been caused by "the national epidemic of manic depression" that is "afflicting our elite athletes." To our knowledge, this is the first public warning that manic depression is an contagious disease. We urge you -- especially if you are an elite athlete -- to take suitable precautions against infection. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1995-12-06 Free Posters We have prepared several cheapo but exciting -- and most important, free -- more-or-less-black-and-white 8 1/2 x 11" AIRhead posters. They are suitable for any department bulleting board. To obtain one or more, send an ADEQUATELY STAMPED STAMPED STAMPED self-addressed envelope to: Free AIRhead Posters AIR PO Box 380853, Cambridge MA 02238 USA Please specify which poster(s) you want. You have permission (and our encouragement) to copy these posters an infinite number of times and plaster them where they will raise the most questions. The posters are: a) Internet Barbie b) The Interpretive Dance of the Electrons (photo features Nobel Laureates William Lipscomb et al and the Nicola Hawkins Dancers in the world premiere of the famous ballet) c) Technology For Smokers (action photo of a device that confines the smoke to the immediate region of the smoker's head) d) Glioblastoma Multiforme (photomicrograph that is said to resemble a microscopic Muppet) e) The Taxonomy of Barney (x-ray of a living specimen) Later this month, we will also place postscript versions of these posters in Hot AIR, our trendoid home page, http:///www.improb.com ----------------------------------------------------------- 1995-12-07 Swimsuits and Re-engineering SPECIAL SWIMSUIT ISSUE We are preparing our annual "Swimsuit issue." If you or yours (please do not send somebody else or somebody else's) has a photograph that is suitable for our annual swimsuit issue, please send it in. Weight, age, body-fat percentage, posture, and fashion sense will all be given equal lack of consideration. Our last cover model, a distinguished retired surgeon, was in his late 70's when he donned his Speedo for the photographer. Stiff competition for the cover slot is expected again this year. SPECIAL RE-ENGINEERING ISSUE Many of you have urged us to prepare a special "Re-Engineering Issue" of AIR. This is a call for articles related to that topic. The word "re-engineering" was coined several years ago at one of the world's outstanding technology institutes. Except for its meaning, the word is in no way related to the terms "reorganization," "downsizing," "organizational shrinking," "layoffs," or "eliminating large numbers of people." Re- engineering is known to be of vital importance: it has created financial and job security for many important consultants. For purposes of preparing research articles, and for all other purposes, "re-engineering" can be defined quasi-recursively: "Re-engineering is the process of instructing high-level administrators as to which people other than oneself are to be re-engineered." ------------------------------------------------------------- 1995-12-08 Re-Engineering and Mathematics According to reports, the University of Rochester is planning to eliminate its mathematics department. This would necessitate the release of approximately 20 faculty members. While a few can be eliminated by attrition or poisoning, the university faces a basic problem: how to get rid of tenured faculty members who don't want to leave. Our Research Bureau has come up with a solution. The University should simply trade its veteran mathematicians to other institutions. In exchange, it can obtain key personnel in areas (such as the Re-engineering Department) where it has the greatest need. ------------------------------------------------------------- 1995-12-09 AIRhead Project 2000 As announced in mini-AIR 1994-02-03 (June, 1994), we are compiling a list of studies, projects, and products that involve the number two thousand. The following items were randomly selected: ITEM #91 (submitted by investigator Greg Smith) "CONTACT CLEANER 2000,", a spray (part #03150), manufactured by CRC Industries, Inc. of Warminster, PA, and used to clean electric and electronic contacts. ITEM #470-D (submitted by investigators Kevin T. Keith and Michael Sofka) "THE 2000 CLUB," a group of people (more than 150 as of this writing) organized by professional magician and skeptic James Randi. Members pledge substantial amounts of money (currently totalling more than $300,000) that will be awarded to the first human being who indisputably demontrates genuine psychic powers. ITEM #73003 (submitted by investigator Paulette Raymond) "WOMEN 2000," a conference, featuring Los Angeles prosecutor Marcia Clark, to be held in May, 1996 at the Simmons Graduate School of Management. ITEM #74533 (submitted by investigator Gerald Bliss) "ARTHRITIS 2000," a chronicling, in the journal "Nursing", of the current state-of-the-art and the predictible future regarding the treatment of arthritis. ITEM #74534 (submitted by investigator Laura Haddad) "PRESIDENT 2000," a chronicling, in the magazine "Wired," of something or other ----------------------------------------------------------- 1995-12-10 May We Recommend... Research reports that merit a trip to the library. (These items are additional to the many which appear in AIR itself.) "On Drying of Laundry," Erik B. Hansen, "SIAM Journal on Applied Mathematics," vol. 52, no. 5, Oct. 1992, pp. 1360-9. (Thanks to investigator Tom Roberts for bringing this to our attention.) "Bungee running: a further report," M.E. Lovell and V.P. Bradley, "British Journal of Sports Medicine," vol. 29, no. 1, Mar. 1995, p. 12, 1995. The abstract reads: Further to the report from Queen Mary's NHS Trust on bungee running affecting children, we present three cases of injury in adults. Two cases of injury presented to Noble's (Isle of Man) Hospital and one to Whiston Hospital, Merseyside. In all three cases, the competitors were trying to stretch the 'bungee' to grasp a pint of beer as a prize, much enthusiasm being shown by spectators. All injuries occurred when the competitors were catapulted backwards with some force. (Thanks to investigator Belle S. Tuten for bringing this to our attention.) ------------------------------------------------------------ 1995-12-11 AIRhead Events [The most current version of this list can always be obtained by sending e-mail to INFO@IMPROB.COM] If you would like to host an improbable research event, show please send e-mail to marca@wilson.harvard.edu. MIT ALUMNI CLUB, Schenectady New York Thurs evening, Dec 14 The event will be at the Mohawk Club, and is open to both the general and specific public so long as they/you/whoever make reservations with Wendy Gilman: 518-443-5168 or 518-270-1882 GILMANW@CA.SUNYCENTRAL.EDU AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, Baltimore Sun, Feb 11, 1996 Several of AIR's most distinguished authors will present their research on: "The Taxonomy of Barney;" "Analysis of DNA Cologne;" "Studmuffins of Science;" "Risk Assessment of Abduction by Aliens;" and other topics, at a special evening session of the world's largest science meeting. FOLIO CONFERENCE, Los Angeles April 23-6, 1996 "Camshafts, Cindy Crawford and Beer: How to Make a Dull Topic Interesting." The session is open only to conference registerees. [Anyone in the LA area who would like to host other AIRhead events during the same week please e-mail marca@wilson.harvard.edu.] >From time to time AIRhead news reports and commentary appear on ABC Television's "World News Now" and Public Radio's "LIVING ON EARTH." --------------------------------------------------------------- 1995-12-12 WHAT IS AIR? (*) The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) is a splendidly subversive science humor magazine produced by the founders and entire former editorial staff (1955-1994) of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" and by other research scientists and other AIRheads from around the world. AIR's co-founders are Marc Abrahams, who edited the Journal from 1990-1994, and Alexander Kohn, who co-founded the Journal in 1955 and was its editor until 1989. The editorial board consists of more than 40 distinguished scientists from around the world, including eight Nobel Laureates and a convicted felon. Each October, AIR produces the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, honoring people whose achievements "cannot or should not be reproduced." [IMPORTANT -- AIR is IN NO WAY associated with the name "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" or with the entity which now owns that name.] -------------------------------------- 1995-12-13 How to Subscribe to AIR(*) Amaze your colleagues. Delight your friends. Impress yourself. Subscribe to The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)! "AIR is one of the finest contributions to western civilization.... AIR exposes the soft underbelly of science -- and gives it a damn good tickling.... You can't afford to be left out." -"Wired" magazine ============================================== Rates (in US dollars) USA 1 year - $19.95 2 years - $34.95 Canada/Mexico 1 year - $27 2 years - $45 Overseas 1 year - $40 2 years - $70 [Copies of back issues are each $8 in the US, $11 in Canada/Mexico, $16 overseas.] Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover cards) to: The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX: 617-661-0927 air@improb.com --------------------------- 1995-12-14 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc.(*) mini-AIR is an monthly electronic newsletter of overflow tidbits from The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR). It is available over the Internet, free of charge. To subscribe, send a brief E- mail message to: LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) --------------------------------------- To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR To obtain a list of back issues, send this message: INDEX MINI-AIR To retrieve a particular back issue, send a message specifying which issue you want. For example, to retrieve the issue dated 950706, send this message: GET MINI-AIR MINI-AIR.950706 ::::: AIR extracts on USENET The USENET newsgroup clari.feature.imprb_research presents a syndicated weekly column of reports extracted from The Annals of Improbable Research. [NOTE: This is available only if your Internet site subscribes to the Clarinet newsgroups.] [ANOTHER NOTE: If you would like to have the print version of the column appear in your campus newspaper, please e-mail marca@wilson.harvard.edu] --------------------------- 1995-12-15 Our Address The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@wilson.harvard.edu GENERAL INFO (supplied automatically): info@improb.com SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improb.com URL: http://www.improb.com/ We read everything we receive, but are unable to answer all of it. IF you need a reply, please include your Internet address and/or a SASE in all printed correspondence. --------------------------- 1995-12-16 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------------------------------------------------------ (c) copyright 1995, The Annals of Improbable Research ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@wilson.harvard.edu) WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (ringo@leland.stanford.edu) http:/www.improb.com/ COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITORS: Mark Dionne, Jane Patrick CO-CONSPIRATORS: Michael Rissinger, Steve Anderson, Gary Dryfoos, Greg Kinney, Deb Kreuze, Nicki Sorel, Mark Taylor MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow & William Lipscomb ============================================================