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The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 1995-12
December, 1995
ISSN 1076-500X
Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the
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A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in
The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR),
the journal of inflated research and personalities
================================================================
-----------------------------
1995-12-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS
1995-12-01 Table of Contents
1995-12-02 New Discovery about DNA Cologne
1995-12-03 Announcing the Special Ig Nobel Prize Issue
1995-12-04 Far Flung Findings
1995-12-05 Manic-Depression Epidemic
1995-12-06 Free Posters
1995-12-07 Swimsuits and Re-engineering
1995-12-08 Re-Engineering and Mathematics
1995-12-09 AIRhead Project 2000
1995-12-10 May We Recommend...
1995-12-11 AIRhead Events
1995-12-12 What is AIR? (*)
1995-12-13 How to Subscribe to AIR(*)
1995-12-14 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc.(*)
1995-12-15 Our Address (*)
1995-12-16 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)
Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.
------------------------------------------------------------
1995-12-02 New Discovery about DNA Cologne
The Ig Nobel Prizes inspire many people to do their best science.
Here is a case in point. This year's chemistry Prize went to Bijan
Pakzad (founder of Bijan Fragrances of Beverly Hills) for his
creation of DNA Cologne and DNA Perfume. At the Ig Nobel ceremony
(which was held on October 6), bottles of DNA Cologne and DNA
Perfume were presented to the presiding Nobel Laureates (Dudley
Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Joseph Murray and
Richard Roberts), all of whom are imaginative and prolific
scientists. We just received this letter from one of them:
Dear Marc:
My gifts of DNA fragrances at the Ig are much appreciated:
My wife, using her DNA perfume sample while vacationing in
Viet-Nam, discovered its serendipitous efficacy as a
mosquito repellant. The men's product has a similar, though
somewhat less effective, action on my students. We hope that
DNA may be adopted as the Official Fragrance for pest
control at the Ig Nobel Ceremonies.
Shelly Glashow
Physics Department
Harvard University
------------------------------------------------------------
1995-12-03 Announcing the Special Ig Nobel Prize Issue
AIR 2:1 (Jan/Feb 96) will be our annual Ig Nobel Issue. It
features a lavish, full report on the recent Ig Nobel Prize
Ceremony, including shocking photos (yes, there are photographs of
scientist-supermodel Symmetra and of the Nobel laureates drinking
Luak Coffee), acceptance speeches, the Heisenberg Certainty
Lectures, the "Welcome Welcome" speech, the complete poem "DNA and
Green Eggs and Ham," James Watson's appreciation of DNA Cologne,
the now-famous "Kid's Tribute to DNA," the lyrics for the new
songs "DNA" and "Deoxyribonucleic Acid" (both performed by
Symmetra and her low-cut backless gown), the "Goodbye Goodbye"
speech, and much more.
AIR 2:1 also includes a plethora (perhaps more than one plethora)
of reports about other current research from around and within the
globe... including two reports related to a curious European
substance called "Quark." And, and, and, AIR 2:1 contains a brand
new column of "Read-Aloud Science Lessons for Girls and Boys and
Grown-Ups."
REMINDERS
a) If your AIR subscription expired with the
Nov/Dec issue, you should have received a renewal notice.
Please don't forget that it's time to renew!
b) If you are giving AIR as a holiday gift, please
get your order in in time!
IG VIDEO ALERT
The video of the 1995 Ig Nobel ceremony is
nearly complete. We do hope to have it ready within a few
days. As many of you have suggested (may we use the words
"frantically demanded?"), if the video is ready in time for
the holidays, then yes, we will send out a notice.
-------------------------------------------------------
1995-12-04 Far Flung Findings
Because the Ig Nobel report in AIR 2:1 is so large, space
limitations forced us to bump one of the magazine's many regular
(and most atypical, if such a thing is possible) columns. And so,
this time around, we present that column here instead.
=============================
FAR FLUNG FINDINGS
-----------------------------
Unverified scientific reports
-----------------------------
by Neonate Rofen
=============================
Several unverified but intriguing findings about human
reproduction are reported in volume 13, number 37 (the November
28, 1995 issue) of the research journal "Weekly World News."
Women Emulate Birds
"Weekly World News" reports (pages 24-5) on an unusual medical
syndrome in which pregnant women build outdoor nests with leaves,
sticks and dirt. Called "Setting Syndrome," it was originally
discovered in 1965 by a psychiatrist (unnamed) in England. "Weekly
World News" interviews Dr. Anthony Hotteb, who is heading up a
special research project on the condition. According to Dr.
Hotteb,
***
The women were ashamed and confused by their own
behavior.... After an article on their condition was
published in a medical journal, scores of other cases were
reported.
***
Dr. Hotteb does not specify which medical journal, but he gives
"Weekly World News" a full account of a woman who spends up to 14
hours every day gathering soft scraps of material together in a
mound.
SUPERBIRTHS
"Weekly World News" also examines (pages 6-7) the recent
phenomenon of superbirths -- cases in which women give birth to
twelve or more babies at a shot. There have been at least three
superbirths since 1992. Christina Norberg had twelve in Arhus,
Denmark; Kristen Sorensen had fifteen in Ringsted, Denmark; and
Doris McDuane had seventeen in Rhode Island.
***
"The pregnancy was terribly difficult, but the outcome has
been great," says jubilant Doris.
***
Dr. Horace Blanner is an obstetrician who studies multiple births.
He tells "Weekly World News" that most, but not all, of these
events involve the use of fertility drugs, and finds that
***
Huge instant families like these put a severe strain on the
families, but they also bring a great deal of joy. Most of
these couples have tried to have children for years and now
they want as many more as possible.
***
"Weekly World News" reports that the Pedersen Diaper Company of
Denmark has decided to encourage the trend by offering $1 million
to any woman who delivers 20 infants at once.
CANCER AND CABBAGE
"Weekly World News" also reports on two unrelated breakthroughs
that could have big implications for the health care funding
crisis.
***
A noted physician has revealed that he completely cured the
deadly cancer that was eating away his lungs by reciting
three "magic words" given him by an aged beggar he had
befriended.
***
The doctor is identified only as Dr. T, and is shown in three
photographs that appear on page 21. Elsewhere on the same page,
there is news of a survey of 4,000 adult men and women.
***
[The] survey proves it beyond the shadow of a doubt people
who eat cabbage at least three times a week earn more money,
have better sex lives and are happier than people who don't.
***
"Weekly World News" does not include the names or other
information about the identity of the researchers who conducted
the poll.
------------------------------------------------
1995-12-05 Manic-Depression Epidemic
As a contribution to public health, we ask you to help us increase
awareness of the epidemic of manic depression. The disease is
spreading rapidly. It was first brought to our attention recently,
by a psychiatrist who is employed by a major American university.
One of the university's football stars had recently been suspended
for making ten yards and a cloud of dust out of his girlfriend.
The football star had then been quickly reinstated to his rightful
place on the team. The day after the reinstatement, a university
psychiatrist explained on national television that the football
player's actions had been caused by "the national epidemic of
manic depression" that is "afflicting our elite athletes."
To our knowledge, this is the first public warning that manic
depression is an contagious disease. We urge you -- especially if
you are an elite athlete -- to take suitable precautions against
infection.
-----------------------------------------------------------
1995-12-06 Free Posters
We have prepared several cheapo but exciting -- and most
important, free -- more-or-less-black-and-white 8 1/2 x 11"
AIRhead posters. They are suitable for any department bulleting
board. To obtain one or more, send an ADEQUATELY STAMPED STAMPED
STAMPED self-addressed envelope to:
Free AIRhead Posters
AIR
PO Box 380853, Cambridge MA 02238 USA
Please specify which poster(s) you want. You have permission (and
our encouragement) to copy these posters an infinite number of
times and plaster them where they will raise the most questions.
The posters are:
a) Internet Barbie
b) The Interpretive Dance of the Electrons (photo
features Nobel Laureates William Lipscomb et al
and the Nicola Hawkins Dancers in the world premiere
of the famous ballet)
c) Technology For Smokers (action photo of a device that
confines the smoke to the immediate region of the
smoker's head)
d) Glioblastoma Multiforme (photomicrograph that is said
to resemble a microscopic Muppet)
e) The Taxonomy of Barney (x-ray of a living specimen)
Later this month, we will also place postscript versions of these
posters in Hot AIR, our trendoid home page, http:///www.improb.com
-----------------------------------------------------------
1995-12-07 Swimsuits and Re-engineering
SPECIAL SWIMSUIT ISSUE
We are preparing our annual "Swimsuit issue." If you or yours
(please do not send somebody else or somebody else's) has a
photograph that is suitable for our annual swimsuit issue, please
send it in. Weight, age, body-fat percentage, posture, and
fashion sense will all be given equal lack of consideration. Our
last cover model, a distinguished retired surgeon, was in his late
70's when he donned his Speedo for the photographer. Stiff
competition for the cover slot is expected again this year.
SPECIAL RE-ENGINEERING ISSUE
Many of you have urged us to prepare a special "Re-Engineering
Issue" of AIR. This is a call for articles related to that topic.
The word "re-engineering" was coined several years ago at one of
the world's outstanding technology institutes. Except for its
meaning, the word is in no way related to the terms
"reorganization," "downsizing," "organizational shrinking,"
"layoffs," or "eliminating large numbers of people." Re-
engineering is known to be of vital importance: it has created
financial and job security for many important consultants. For
purposes of preparing research articles, and for all other
purposes, "re-engineering" can be defined quasi-recursively:
"Re-engineering is the process of instructing high-level
administrators as to which people other than oneself are
to be re-engineered."
-------------------------------------------------------------
1995-12-08 Re-Engineering and Mathematics
According to reports, the University of Rochester is planning to
eliminate its mathematics department. This would necessitate the
release of approximately 20 faculty members. While a few can be
eliminated by attrition or poisoning, the university faces a basic
problem: how to get rid of tenured faculty members who don't want
to leave. Our Research Bureau has come up with a solution. The
University should simply trade its veteran mathematicians to other
institutions. In exchange, it can obtain key personnel in areas
(such as the Re-engineering Department) where it has the greatest
need.
-------------------------------------------------------------
1995-12-09 AIRhead Project 2000
As announced in mini-AIR 1994-02-03 (June, 1994), we are compiling
a list of studies, projects, and products that involve the number
two thousand. The following items were randomly selected:
ITEM #91 (submitted by investigator Greg Smith)
"CONTACT CLEANER 2000,", a spray (part #03150), manufactured by
CRC Industries, Inc. of Warminster, PA, and used to clean
electric and electronic contacts.
ITEM #470-D (submitted by investigators Kevin T. Keith and Michael
Sofka)
"THE 2000 CLUB," a group of people (more than 150 as of this
writing) organized by professional magician and skeptic James
Randi. Members pledge substantial amounts of money (currently
totalling more than $300,000) that will be awarded to the first
human being who indisputably demontrates genuine psychic powers.
ITEM #73003 (submitted by investigator Paulette Raymond)
"WOMEN 2000," a conference, featuring Los Angeles prosecutor
Marcia Clark, to be held in May, 1996 at the Simmons Graduate
School of Management.
ITEM #74533 (submitted by investigator Gerald Bliss)
"ARTHRITIS 2000," a chronicling, in the journal "Nursing", of the
current state-of-the-art and the predictible future regarding the
treatment of arthritis.
ITEM #74534 (submitted by investigator Laura Haddad)
"PRESIDENT 2000," a chronicling, in the magazine "Wired," of
something or other
-----------------------------------------------------------
1995-12-10 May We Recommend...
Research reports that merit a trip to the library.
(These items are additional to the many which appear in AIR
itself.)
"On Drying of Laundry," Erik B. Hansen, "SIAM Journal on Applied
Mathematics," vol. 52, no. 5, Oct. 1992, pp. 1360-9.
(Thanks to investigator Tom Roberts for bringing this to our
attention.)
"Bungee running: a further report," M.E. Lovell and V.P. Bradley,
"British Journal of Sports Medicine," vol. 29, no. 1, Mar. 1995,
p. 12, 1995. The abstract reads:
Further to the report from Queen Mary's NHS Trust on bungee
running affecting children, we present three cases of injury
in adults. Two cases of injury presented to Noble's (Isle of
Man) Hospital and one to Whiston Hospital, Merseyside. In
all three cases, the competitors were trying to stretch the
'bungee' to grasp a pint of beer as a prize, much enthusiasm
being shown by spectators. All injuries occurred when the
competitors were catapulted backwards with some force.
(Thanks to investigator Belle S. Tuten for bringing this to our
attention.)
------------------------------------------------------------
1995-12-11 AIRhead Events
[The most current version of this list can always be obtained
by sending e-mail to INFO@IMPROB.COM]
If you would like to host an improbable research event, show
please send e-mail to marca@wilson.harvard.edu.
MIT ALUMNI CLUB, Schenectady New York Thurs evening, Dec 14
The event will be at the Mohawk Club, and is open to both the
general and specific public so long as they/you/whoever make
reservations with Wendy Gilman: 518-443-5168 or 518-270-1882
GILMANW@CA.SUNYCENTRAL.EDU
AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, Baltimore Sun, Feb 11, 1996
Several of AIR's most distinguished authors will present their
research on:
"The Taxonomy of Barney;"
"Analysis of DNA Cologne;"
"Studmuffins of Science;"
"Risk Assessment of Abduction by Aliens;"
and other topics, at a special evening session of the world's
largest science meeting.
FOLIO CONFERENCE, Los Angeles April 23-6, 1996
"Camshafts, Cindy Crawford and Beer: How to Make a Dull Topic
Interesting." The session is open only to conference registerees.
[Anyone in the LA area who would like to host other AIRhead events
during the same week please e-mail marca@wilson.harvard.edu.]
>From time to time AIRhead news reports and commentary appear on
ABC Television's "World News Now" and Public Radio's "LIVING ON
EARTH."
---------------------------------------------------------------
1995-12-12 WHAT IS AIR? (*)
The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) is a splendidly subversive
science humor magazine produced by the founders and entire former
editorial staff (1955-1994) of "The Journal of Irreproducible
Results" and by other research scientists and other AIRheads from
around the world. AIR's co-founders are Marc Abrahams, who edited
the Journal from 1990-1994, and Alexander Kohn, who co-founded the
Journal in 1955 and was its editor until 1989. The editorial board
consists of more than 40 distinguished scientists from around the
world, including eight Nobel Laureates and a convicted felon.
Each October, AIR produces the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, honoring
people whose achievements "cannot or should not be reproduced."
[IMPORTANT -- AIR is IN NO WAY associated with the name "The
Journal of Irreproducible Results" or with the entity which now
owns that name.]
--------------------------------------
1995-12-13 How to Subscribe to AIR(*)
Amaze your colleagues. Delight your friends. Impress yourself.
Subscribe to The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)!
"AIR is one of the finest contributions to western
civilization.... AIR exposes the soft underbelly of
science -- and gives it a damn good tickling....
You can't afford to be left out."
-"Wired" magazine
==============================================
Rates (in US dollars)
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Canada/Mexico 1 year - $27 2 years - $45
Overseas 1 year - $40 2 years - $70
[Copies of back issues are each $8 in the US,
$11 in Canada/Mexico, $16 overseas.]
Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or
Visa, Mastercard or Discover cards) to:
The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA
617-491-4437 FAX: 617-661-0927
air@improb.com
---------------------------
1995-12-14 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc.(*)
mini-AIR is an monthly electronic newsletter of overflow tidbits
from The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR). It is available
over the Internet, free of charge. To subscribe, send a brief E-
mail message to:
LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU
The body of your message should contain ONLY the words
SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE
(You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.)
---------------------------------------
To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR
To obtain a list of back issues, send this message: INDEX MINI-AIR
To retrieve a particular back issue, send a message specifying
which issue you want. For example, to retrieve the issue dated
950706, send this message: GET MINI-AIR MINI-AIR.950706
::::: AIR extracts on USENET
The USENET newsgroup clari.feature.imprb_research presents a
syndicated weekly column of reports extracted from The Annals of
Improbable Research.
[NOTE: This is available only if your Internet site subscribes to
the Clarinet newsgroups.]
[ANOTHER NOTE: If you would like to have the print version of the
column appear in your campus newspaper, please e-mail
marca@wilson.harvard.edu]
---------------------------
1995-12-15 Our Address
The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA
617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927
EDITORIAL: marca@wilson.harvard.edu
GENERAL INFO (supplied automatically): info@improb.com
SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improb.com
URL: http://www.improb.com/
We read everything we receive, but are unable to answer all of it.
IF you need a reply, please include your Internet address and/or a
SASE in all printed correspondence.
---------------------------
1995-12-16 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)
Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever
appropriate. The only limitations are:
A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR.
B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes.
------------------------------------------------------------
(c) copyright 1995, The Annals of Improbable Research
------------------------------------------------------------
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mini-AIRheads
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EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@wilson.harvard.edu)
WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin
(ringo@leland.stanford.edu) http:/www.improb.com/
COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu)
ASSOCIATIVE EDITORS: Mark Dionne, Jane Patrick
CO-CONSPIRATORS: Michael Rissinger, Steve Anderson, Gary Dryfoos,
Greg Kinney, Deb Kreuze, Nicki Sorel, Mark Taylor
MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto
AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon
Glashow & William Lipscomb
============================================================
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