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The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 1996-09
September, 1996
ISSN 1076-500X
Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the
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A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in
The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR),
the journal of inflated research and personalities
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1996-09-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS
1996-09-01 Table of Contents
1996-09-02 Ig Tix, Vid
1996-09-03 Further Alluring Abstracts from AIR 2:5
1996-09-04 Scientists in the Sunset
1996-09-05 AIR Vents: Re Romance
1996-09-06 The Ig Nobel Ceremony is Imminent
1996-09-07 Scientific Correctness Survey -- Continued
1996-09-08 AIRhead Project 2000
1996-09-09 May We Recommend...
1996-09-10 Wrongly Crossed Leg
1996-09-11 AIRhead Events
1996-09-12 How to Subscribe to AIR (*)
1996-09-13 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)
1996-09-14 Our Address (*)
1996-09-15 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)
Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.
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1996-09-02 Ig Tix, Vid
1. There are a few tickets still available for the Ig Nobel Prize
ceremony. See below for details. Meanwhile...
2. Our plans for the charmingly poor-quality live Internet video
transmission are proceeding apace. Details on this sad subject,
too, lie somewhat below your current eye level. Now,...
3. As you may have heard, the chief science advisor to the
government of a certain western European nation has recommended
that no more Ig Nobel Prizes be awarded. In past years, the nation
in question has produced an impressive number of Ig Nobel
Prizewinners. Unbeknownst to the science advisor, yet another of
his countrymen will happily ascend to the proud ranks on October 3
of this year. Perhaps some of our readers will invite the science
advisor, who we understand is really an amiable fellow, to bring
along some fish, chips, and ale, and join them in watching the Ig
Nobel live Internet telecast.
4. We are looking for one or two GOOD photographers who will
bravely and generously be AIR volunteer staffers for the evening
and help us document this momentous event. If that sounds like you,
please get in touch ASAP at <marca@wilson.harvard.edu> 617-491-4437.
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1996-09-03 Further Alluring Abstracts from AIR 2:5
AIR itself is a subversively educational print journal. The
articles in AIR are longer, more visual, and more xeroxible than
the tiny tidbits we publish in mini-AIR.
r job."
"Cracks and Mothers' Backs," by Craig A. Finseth. This already-
controversial research report assesses the validity of the
hypothesis "Step on a crack and you'll break your mother's back."
The author makes heavy use of probability theory in reaching his
conclusion.
"NOBEL THOUGHTS: Clifford Shull," by Marc Abrahams. The Nobel
laureate discusses his view of how physicists compare with
everyone else in such matters as losing car keys.
"Ascertaining Scientific Status," by Joel Kirschbaum. This cartoon
is one of the few that survives translation to an all-text format.
Here is such a translation:
Menaced
by Unabomber
------------
Winner Nobel Prize
-----------------------
Published in Annals Improb. Res.
--------------------------------
In American Men and Women of Science
"Remove Brains with a Water Hose," by Tanika Welp. A concise
summary of a report that appeared in the Journal "Bovine
Veterinarian," this thought-provoking article explains the
currently preferred method for removing a brain from its original
container.
And much, much more...
Full text and illustrations of these and many other articles and
citations appear in the Sept/Oct AIR. As always, we bewilderingly
bewitch and bother you to subscribe -- and to submit your own
research for publication.
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1996-09-04 Scientists in the Sunset
Our siren song of scientific romance has continued to yield
exciting raw data. Two months ago we issued a call for all
documented sightings of physicists (of any sex) galloping off into
the sunset with a beautiful woman. This was in response to
physicist Leon Lederman's lament: 'Scientists fall in love. But
when was the last time you saw a physicist on TV galloping off
into the sunset with a beautiful woman?'"
Last month we published some of the data readers sent in. Here is
a further sampling.
"Young Einstein" -- The young Albert Einstein (played by Yahoo
Serious in this mid-80's Australian film) Einstein gets it
together with Marie Curie. He also is ogled by prostitutes in
Sydney.
"War of the Worlds" -- Gene Barry saves the world from Martians
and gets the girl in what was the sunset of the invasion.
"Creation -- At the end, there is scene of a galloping-physicist-
w/beautiful-woman combo. This is one of Peter O'Toole's less
memorable roles.
Law and Order" One episode of this TV show features a physicist
who cheats on his wife with some gorgeous babe. He then gets
arrested for murder.
"The X-Files" -- In the episode entitled "War of the
Coprophages," an artificial intelligence scientist galloped off
into the sunset with a beautiful woman called Bambi.
"Demon Seed" (the computer gets the girl)
"Young Frankenstein"
"When Worlds Collide"
"My Stepmother Is An Alien"
"Time after Time" (maybe)
"Love Potion Number Nine"
"Crack in the Earth"
Investigator Matt Fletcher offers this correction to an item
presented last month:
The "Lectroids" in "The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai: across the
8th dimension" are from Planet 10, not from dimension 8.
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1996-09-05 AIR Vents: Re Romance
Here are still further exhalations from our readers concerning the
scientists in the sunset sightings.
Investigator Jeff Templon:
Does it have to be galloping (or at sunset?) I personally have
*flown* off into the sunset with a beautiful woman (several times)
and am a physicist. Also, I have stumbled drunkenly out of a bar
with beautiful women, although it's been awhile (they have been
supplanted by the woman who prefers to fly.)
Investigator Alexander M Kerr:
Since scientists sensu lato are seldom portrayed galloping off
into the sunset with a beautiful woman/man, the chance of finding
a case in which a scientist in a particular discipline is doing so
seems especially slim. Thus for a suffficient N, you might want to
expand your scope to include scientists in alll disciplines.
Movies with molecular biologists seem popular these days. This way
one could also find out which investigators get the most
babes/hunks and plan one's education accordingly.
Investigator Tom Gamble:
Actually, in the TV sf series "Sliders", the young romantic male
and the wise old codger characters are identified as physicists. I
find this very incouraging, as there are no obvious physicists
associated with the production and it is not a half bad series.
Investigator Ben Bard:
I have a degree in physics and have been on a horse next to a
beautiful woman. She was on a different horse. There was no sunset
involved.
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1996-09-06 The Ig Nobel Ceremony is Imminent
A few Ig tickets are still available for the Sixth First Annual Ig
Nobel Prize Ceremony, which will be held on the evening of
Thursday, Oct. 3 at Harvard's Sanders Theatre (617-496-2222). The
event honors those whose achievements "cannot or should not be
reproduced."
Several of the winners will be present -- one is coming to the
ceremony from his clinic in a northern European nation. Other
winners, confined to home or prison, have sent video or audio
taped acceptance speeches. Audience delegations from hither and
yon are busily preparing their attire and heckles.
Scientist/Supermodel Symmetra is carefully preparing the plaster
casts of the left feet of four Nobel Laureates and herself. The
feet will be auctioned off during the ceremony. One of the
Laureates will be given away in the annual Win-a-Date-With-a-
Nobel-Laureate Contest.
Three past winners of Ig Nobel Prizes will attend, to honor the
new winners and to present their own personal tributes to this
year's theme: "Biodiversity." In addition, Earle Spamer of the
Academy of Natural Sciences will present his research findings
(including a specially prepared specimen) on "The Taxonomy of
Barney."
The evening will feature the world premiere of "Lament del
Cockroach," a mini-opera for Mezzo-Sopranos and Nobel Laureates,
starring Margot McGlaughlin, Deb Kreuze, and the Laureates.
There will also be a special pre-game concert by jazz-harpist
Deborah Henson-Conant and Nobel Laureate William Lipscomb.
The entire ceremony will be televised in proudly cheesy fashion
live on the Internet, with the technical operations supervised by
Internet celebrity Robert T. Morris. For details of how to see the
telecast, see our home page http://www.improb.com
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1996-09-07 Scientific Correctness Survey -- Continued
Here is the first set of results from our scientific correctness
survey (see AIR 1996-07 for full details of the project).
Somewhere between 100 and 26,000 readers voted on a question of
"scientifical correctness." (Two percent of the answers were sent
in languages that none of our panel could translate.) The results
should help the scientific community decide which side of this
issue it should accept as "correct".
13% Dinosaurs and man walked together millions of years ago.
06% Dinosaurs and man walked together
less than 10,000 years ago.
06% Dinosaurs and man walked together,
but it was purely platonic.
61% Dinosaurs became extinct before the first humans existed.
14% Humans became extinct before the first dinosaurs existed.
More details next time, perhaps. And yes, we intend to conduct
surveys on all the major controversial scientific questions of our
era.
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1996-09-08 AIRhead Project 2000
As announced in mini-AIR 1994-02-03 (June, 1994), we are compiling
a list of everything that has 2000 as part of its name.
Investigator Jeremy R Greenwood reports on receiving an
invitation to what is described as a" once in a millennium event!"
The accompanying schedule says that it takes place four times,
making it a once-in-a-millennium four-time event:
Monday, 8 October
Hilton Hotel, Heathrow Airport
Tuesday, 9 October
Etrop Grange Hotel, Manchester Airport
Wednesday, 10 October
Crossair Conference Center, Basel Airport
Thursday, 11 October
Frankfurt Airport Conference Center
The event is none other than "ALCHEMY 2000," which is said to be
"a free half-day workshop on computational applications for
chemical discovery with the new integrated ALCHEMY 2000 chemical
discovery system." Perhaps some brave soul will attend this
quadruple-singular event and then send us a report. We hope not.
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1996-09-09 May We Recommend...
Research reports that merit a trip to the library.
(These items are additional to the many which appear in AIR
itself.)
"Colonic transit in soccer players," B. Sesboue, P. Arhan, G.
Devroede, I. Lecointe-Besancon, P. Congard, M. Bouchoucha. and J.
Fabre, "Journal of Clinical Gastroenterology," vol. 20, no. 3,
Apr. 1995, pp. 211-4. (Thanks to Justin Graham for bringing this
to our attention.)
"Rats of Wistar strain discriminate by rectal temperature the two
types of stressors (inescapable shock versus height and open
space) whereas genetically hypertensive rats of Koletsky type do
not," V. Golda and R. Petr, "Activitas Nervosa Superior (Praha),"
vol. 31, no. 2, 1989, pp. 140-1. (Thanks to Chris Jones for
bringing this to our attention.)
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1996-09-10 Wrongly Crossed Leg
Investigator Mary Stolzenbach sent us a note inquiring, "why is a
journal named THROAT reporting on legs?" An excellent question.
Last month's "May We Recommend" column incorrectly identified the
source of the article "Leg-Crossing - Incidence and Inheritance."
Thanks to investigator Mike Miller for pointing out and correcting
our typographical (?) error. The rest of the citation SHOULD read:
M. Reiss, "Neuropsychologia," vol. 32, no. 6, 1994, pp. 747-50.
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1996-09-11 AIRhead Events
==> Updates of this schedule are available from info@improb.com
Want to host an event? E-mail to marca@wilson.harvard.edu
1996 IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY, Harvard University Thurs Oct 3
The event begins at 7:30. Special pre-game concert by jazz-harpist
Deborah Henson-Conant and Nobel Laureate William Lipscomb begins
approx. 7:20.
Tickets: Sanders Theatre Box Office 617-496-2222
NORTHEAST ASSN FOR INSTITUTIONAL RESEARCH (NAIR) Sun, Nov 17
Princeton, NJ. For info: Brenda Bretz (bretz@dickinson.edu)
717-245-1316
AMERICAN ASSOCIATION FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF SCIENCE (AAAS)
ANNUAL MEETING, SEATTLE Mon. Feb. 17, '97
Special session on "Improbable Research and the Ig Nobel Prizes."
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1996-09-12 How to Subscribe to AIR (*)
The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) is a magnificent bi-
monthly print journal.
(What you have been reading in mini-AIR are little bits of
overflow material that we couldn't fit into the magazine.)
Here's how to subscribe to the real thing!
Rates (in US dollars)
USA 1 year - $23 2 years - $39
Canada/Mexico 1 year - $27 2 years - $45
Overseas 1 year - $40 2 years - $70
[Copies of back issues are each $8 in the US,
$11 in Canada/Mexico, $16 overseas.]
Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or
Visa, Mastercard or Discover cards) to:
The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA
617-491-4437 FAX: 617-661-0927
air@improb.com
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1996-09-13 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)
What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. It is NOT a tiny
version of AIR -- rather, it is overflow from the real magazine.
To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to:
LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU
The body of your message should contain ONLY the words
SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE
(You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.)
----------------------------
To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR
To obtain a list of back issues, send this message: INDEX MINI-AIR
To retrieve a particular back issue, send a message specifying
which issue you want. For example, to retrieve the issue dated
950706, send this message: GET MINI-AIR MINI-AIR.950706
-----------------------------------------------------
1996-09-14 Our Address (*)
The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA
617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927
EDITORIAL: marca@wilson.harvard.edu
GENERAL INFO (supplied automatically): info@improb.com
SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improb.com
WORLD WIDE WEB: http://www.improb.com/
We read everything we receive, but are unable to answer all of it.
If you need a reply, please include your Internet address and/or a
SASE in all printed correspondence.
>From time to time AIRhead news reports and commentary appear on
ABC Television's "World News Now" and Public Radio's "Living on
Earth."
ELSEWHERE ON THE NET:
* USENET:
a weekly column appears in clari.tw.columns.imprb_research
* AOL: Special extracts are available. Goto keyword "IMPROB"
---------------------------
1996-09-15 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)
Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever
appropriate. The only limitations are:
A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR.
B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes.
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(c) copyright 1996, The Annals of Improbable Research
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mini-AIRheads
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EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@wilson.harvard.edu)
WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin
(ringo@leland.stanford.edu) http://www.improb.com/
COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu)
ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne
CO-CONSPIRATORS: Gary Dryfoos, Craig Haggart, Greg Kinney, Deb
Kreuze, Nicki Sorel, Mark Taylor
MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto
AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon
Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts
============================================================
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