-------------------------------------------------------------------------- This file has been provided by "The Annals of Improbable Research" and is the responsibility of that organization. All questions regarding this material should be sent directly to their indicated addresses below, not to Vortex Technology. Thank you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ================================================================ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 1996-07 July, 1996 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ----------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ------------------------------ 1996-07-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 1996-07-01 Table of Contents 1996-07-02 micro mini housekeeping 1996-07-03 Further Alluring Abstracts from AIR 2:3 1996-07-04 Scientific Correctness Survey 1996-07-05 AIR Vents: mini-whale, mini-hole, pepper, golf putz 1996-07-06 Seeking Saddle Sore Scientists 1996-07-07 Barney On Line 1996-07-08 AIRhead Project 2000 1996-07-09 Ig Nobel Tickets 1996-07-09 Genuine Genuinely Odd Units Project 1996-07-10 Ig Nobel Live TV -- Viewing Parties 1996-07-11 May We Recommend... 1996-07-12 AIRhead Events 1996-07-13 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 1996-07-14 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) 1996-07-15 Our Address (*) 1996-07-16 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. - ---------------------------------------------------------- 1996-07-02 micro mini housekeeping Many busy readers in this modern, modern world have asked us, asked us, asked us to make mini-AIR shorter. Beginning with this issue, we are doing exactly that (at least a little bit). - ---------------------------------------------------------- 1996-07-03 Further Alluring Abstracts from AIR 2:3 AIR itself is a subversively educational print journal. The articles in AIR are longer, more visual, and more xeroxible than the tiny tidbits we publish in mini-AIR. Here are some additional abstracts of items in AIR vol. 2, no. 4, the July/August 1996 issue (our special Typographic Errors issue): "Heat Vs. Humidity: An Empirical Investigation," by K. Retsling Dodgen. The first definitive test of what bothers people more -- heat or humidity? The results are clear: it's the heat, not the humidity. "Cats and Weather Prediction," by Howie Watkins. An historical summary of research about cats' ability to predict the weather. "Evolutionary Perspectives on the Origins of the Common Mongrel (Canis vulgaris)," by Nick Kim. Part 3 of this lavishly illustrated 4-part series elucidates the "leaky plumbing model" of the mongrel, and presents psychoanalytic insights into the mongrel mind. "Mathematics -- An Anagrammatic Tale," by Alice Shirrell Kaswell. A strange, personal tale told entirely using anagrams for the word "mathematics." "Scientific Dining: The CERN Cafeteria, Geneva, Switzerland," by Lois Malone. A review of Switzerland's swanky dining facility where fabulous famous physicists feast. "The Texas Chromosome," by Miriam Bloom. A photomicrograph of a chromosome that resembles the famous Lone Star. "Ask Symmetra," by scientist supermodel Symmetra. In this edition of her regular column, Symmetra answers a question that involves kitchen habits, marriage and the chemistry of explosions. -- articles and citations appear in the July/August AIR. As always, we bewilderingly bewitch and bother you to subscribe. - ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-07-04 Scientific Correctness Survey A recent survey by the U.S. National Science Foundation found that 52% of the respondents believe that the earliest human beings lived at the same time as the dinosaurs. Once again it is time to vote on "scientifical correctness" and help the scientific community decide which side of various issues it should accept as "correct". Please check only one: ___Dinosaurs and man walked together millions of years ago. ___Dinosaurs and man walked together less than 10,000 years ago. ___Dinosaurs and man walked together, but it was purely platonic. ___Dinosaurs became extinct before the first humans existed. ___Humans became extinct before the first dinosuars existed. - ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-07-05 AIR Vents: mini-whale, mini-hole, pepper, golf putz Here are further exhalations from our readers. Investigator Ezra Bick writes in relation to AIR's report about the microscopic fossils that have been collected and photographed by paleontologist Chonosuke Okamura: What is the difference between a microscopic mini-horse and a microscopic horse? I noticed that the sperm whale was merely microscopic and not microscopic mini. Perhaps miniwhales are a contradiction in terms? Investigator Wolf Roder writes: The pollution of a large part of the central Pacific by condoms [as reported in the June mini-AIR]is outrageous. The problem is that these items trap a quantity of air, and are thus made to float. The entire problem could be solved easily if everyone would punch a small hole into the center end of each condom as soon as they are purchased. This would allow the air to escape when the condom is discarded, so that it would sink to the bottom of the ocean. Investigator Eduardo Rene Rodriguez Avila writes about the 'Halipeno'/'Jalipeno' pepper spelling snafu: I read the mini-AIR newsletter from Mexico. This word is derived from a location in my country. The capital city of Veracruz state, is Xalapa (pronunced ha-la-pa, 'a' like in dark). This name can be written 'Jalapa' too. I was born in this city, and later I came to live in Mexico City. The preparation way of this pepper was made originally by a family of this city, hence its name. In Mexico, we call this pepper 'chiles jalapenos' ('n' with tilde and pronunced 'chi-les ja-la-pe-nos', 'ch' like in chair, 'i' like in little, 'e' like in better, 'a' like in dark, 'n' with tilde like the 'ni' in onion, and 'o' like in gold). Investigator Nigel Mends writes: Apropos of nothing at all, except your story about "Aggressive Golf Putz," are you aware that there's a European company that manufactures various types of heavy construction equipment by the name "Putzmeister?" As a civil engineer, I see their ads in trade rags regularly, and often spend idle time (a la "Dilbert") in my cubicle wondering exactly what the qualifications of a Putz Master are. - ------------------------------------------------------------- 1996-07-06 Seeking Saddle Sore Scientists This is a call for raw data. The New York Times reported (August 13, 1995) that "Nobel Prize-winning physicist Leon Lederman, emeritus director of Fermilab and a professor at the Illinois Institute of Technology, says, 'Scientists fall in love. But when was the last time you saw a physicist on TV galloping off into the sunset with a beautiful woman?'" We are gathing a list of all documented sightings of physicists galloping off into the sunset with a beautiful woman. The physicists in question may be (a) on TV or elsewhere, and (b) of either (or indeterminate) sex. Please send your data to . - ------------------------------------------------------------- 1996-07-07 Barney On Line After much pestering, we have finally succumbed. A special version of the landmark research report "The Taxonomy of Barney" by Theriot, Bogan and Spamer now appears in our web site (http://www.improb.com). The article was originally published in AIR 1:1. Further: the authors have consented to present their research publicly at this year's Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, a spectacle that you will be able to watch in a live broadcast (see below). - ------------------------------------------------------------- 1996-07-08 AIRhead Project 2000 As announced in mini-AIR 1994-02-03 (June, 1994), we are compiling a list of everything that has 2000 as part of its name. The following items were randomly selected: ITEM 44044-4 (submitted by investigator Grenvill Rose) "ASTRALASIA 2000," an agreement entered into by rival bike gangs in Australia and New Zealand to set up a cartel arrangement for the supply and distribution of illegal drugs in Australasia [this has been reported in the Australian press]. ITEM W-407 (submitted by investigator Dave Bell) "FARMER 2000," a telephone survey of farmers in the UK. ITEM W-406 (submitted by investigator Barry Zimmerman, M.D.) "THE FUTURE ANESTHESIA SYSTEM 2000," an anesthesia workstation design. ITEM G-9112 (submitted by investigator David M. Sibell) "LIZARD BREATH 2000," a pet store, located in New York City. ITEM #FRESH-141 (submitted by investigator Steven Haddock) "MILLENIUM 2000," an aquarium filter system, available in pet stores. - ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-07-09 Ig Nobel Tickets Here at last is ticket news about the Sixth Fifth Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, which will take place on October 3 at Harvard University's Sanders Theater. You and your colleagues can attend the 1996 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony as an OFFICIAL DELEGATION (a quasi-organized group of 4- 12 people). For details, get in touch with Ed (eaj@mit.edu or 617- 253-5030). Back-up contacts are Margaret Ann (mag@mit.edu or 617-253-0217) or Dee (deedc@mit.edu or 617-253- 5543) All applications MUST be received by September 20. TICKETS FOR INDIVIDUALS will go on sale in mid-August. They will be available ONLY from the Sanders Theater Ticket office (phone 617-496-2222 TTY:617-495-1642). (A second, smaller batch will go on sale in late September after the beginning of Harvard's academic year -- Harvard students will have first preference for purchasing those tickets). The theater, like all theaters, has limited capacity. Further details will be announced soon -- you will be able to obtain that info by sending e-mail to - ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-07-10 Ig Nobel Live TV -- Viewing Parties The Sixth Fifth Annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony will be broadcast live on the Internet. The broadcast will be sent out two ways: (1) on the MBONE and (2) using CUSeeMe Details will be announced when the time grows closer. This will be a metaphorical equivalent of the World Cup soccer finals, the Super Bowl and/or the Miss Universe pageant. People will gather at various sites around the world to watch and heckle. We are compiling a list of locations where people are having Ig parties. If you have the equipment to watch the broadcast and would like to have other people join you, please e-mail your name, location, email address and phone number to We will eventually post the entire list on our web page. - ----------------------------------------------------------- 1996-07-11 May We Recommend... Research reports that merit a trip to the library. (These items are additional to the many which appear in AIR itself.) "Blue Monkeys Eat Mice," J.M.Wahome, M.Cords and T.E.Rowell, "Folia Primatology," vol. 51, nos. 2-3, 1988, pp. 158-60. (Thanks to intrepid investigator Wendy Cooper for bringing this and the following citation to our attention.) "Does Kissing Aid Human Bonding By Semiochemical Addiction?" B.Nicholson, "British Journal of Dermatology," vol. 111, no. 5, 1984, pp. 623-7. - ------------------------------------------------------------ 1996-07-12 AIRhead Events ==> Updates of this schedule are available from info@improb.com Want to host an event? E-mail to marca@wilson.harvard.edu MBL/BUMP, WOODS HOLE Wed, Sep 4 Seminar on Improbable Research and the Ig Nobel Prizes. All welcome. For info: Rainer Voigt 1996 IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY, Harvard University Thurs Oct 3 Tickets for delegations and individuals will go on sale in September. For ticket info send e-mail to NORTHEAST ASSN FOR INSTITUTIONAL RESEARCH (NAIR) Sun, Nov 17 Princeton, NJ. For info: Brenda Bretz (bretz@dickinson.edu) 717-245-1316 - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - ---------------------------------------------------------------- BELOW THIS POINT: STANDARD REFERENCE INFO THAT APPEARS IN EVERY ISSUE OF mini-AIR - ---------------------------------------------------------------- 1996-07-13 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) is a magnificent bi- monthly print journal. (What you have been reading in mini-AIR are little bits of overflow material that we couldn't fit into the magazine.) Here's how to subscribe to the real thing! Rates (in US dollars) USA 1 year - $19.95 2 years - $34.95 Canada/Mexico 1 year - $27 2 years - $45 Overseas 1 year - $40 2 years - $70 [Copies of back issues are each $8 in the US, $11 in Canada/Mexico, $16 overseas.] Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover cards) to: The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX: 617-661-0927 air@improb.com - ----------------------------------------------------- 1996-07-14 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. It is NOT a tiny version of AIR -- rather, it is overflow from the real magazine. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) ---------------------------- To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR To obtain a list of back issues, send this message: INDEX MINI-AIR To retrieve a particular back issue, send a message specifying which issue you want. For example, to retrieve the issue dated 950706, send this message: GET MINI-AIR MINI-AIR.950706 - ----------------------------------------------------- 1996-07-15 Our Address (*) The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@wilson.harvard.edu GENERAL INFO (supplied automatically): info@improb.com SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improb.com WORLD WIDE WEB: http://www.improb.com/ We read everything we receive, but are unable to answer all of it. If you need a reply, please include your Internet address and/or a SASE in all printed correspondence. >From time to time AIRhead news reports and commentary appear on ABC Television's "World News Now" and Public Radio's "Living on Earth." ELSEWHERE ON THE NET: * USENET: a weekly column appears in clari.tw.columns.imprb_research * AOL: Special extracts are available. Goto keyword "IMPROB" - --------------------------- 1996-07-16 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. - ------------------------------------------------------------ (c) copyright 1996, The Annals of Improbable Research - ------------------------------------------------------------ - ------------- mini-AIRheads - ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@wilson.harvard.edu) WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (ringo@leland.stanford.edu) http:/www.improb.com/ COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne CHIEF RESEARCH LIBRARIAN: Michael Rissinger OFFICIAL PROOF PROF: Jodie Hebert INTERNS: Anne Lewis, Aaron Daulton CO-CONSPIRATORS: Gary Dryfoos, Craig Haggart, Greg Kinney, Deb Kreuze, Nicki Sorel, Mark Taylor MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow & William Lipscomb ============================================================